01 February 2012
Because You Were There For Me: Masuda Yuka
From the Shukan Asahi interview series, here is Masuda Yuka's translation.
Even when she got betrayed by her best of friends, even when the whole world turned against her, Yuka's mother still gave her support. A very touching story about a mother's unconditional love.
Remember to thank your mother for all her support the next time you see her :)
The priceless love she gave me at a time when I trusted no one
Translated by emptystring
Before I graduated high school, my life was full of obstacles.
I entered AKB48 during my second year of secondary school, and moved to Tokyo by myself from Osaka. Around that time I was vehemently against my mother coming to Tokyo to visit me.
I would never forget her slicing cabbages on the kitchen counter while crying, because she was so hurt by my harsh words. How did it end up like that?
Not that I want to brag, but when I was a kid, I did well in school - academics, music, art, sports, you name it. So I've always had a lot of friends; but one day they turned against me just like that, and I was bullied for a long time.
I was still a secondary school student when I moved to Tokyo, and it made me stop trusting people. Frankly I don't remember much from that period.
Slowly but surely, I regained my emotions thanks to fans, friends from high school, and members of AKB48.
But I was still unable to be upfront with my mother, whose presence is closest to me.
Or maybe it's the other way around. Maybe I desperately want to be frank with her, as an outlet for my painful past.
She was always able to get back up, no matter how many times I knocked her down with my harsh words.
She didn't give up even when it came very close to the end.
Just like when -
When I was 2, I was diagnosed with cancer and almost died. When they found out that the cancer had spread, they all thought that would be the end of me. My mother stayed by my bed and took care of me despite knowing that I would die.
I only remember being really scared lying on the hospital bed with my eyes closed. The world was about to end for me...but I felt my mom holding my hand, and I went to sleep.
I wonder how she felt, seeing all those tubes coming out of my arm and all the injections they gave me. It makes me sick to my stomach just thinking about what she went through.
Why was I so mean to her?
Yesterday she came to Kobe to see me perform in a musical. We went to eat after the performance and she said, "it was great seeing you in the center."
I felt that if she went back to Osaka like this, the distance between us would only be further apart.
I spent the next few hours pouring my heart out - telling her about being bullied, about not trusting anyone, about not wanting my life to be intruded by parents, about how I want to improve our relationship but didn't know how.
Then at the end I said, "I really love you, mom. I am most thankful for you!" Suddenly she burst into tears. She was crying like a teenager, right in front of me. This was when I realized how much she worried about me.
My dream now is to become a solo singer. I want my songs to make people happy. I was saved once and I have to pay it forward.
And one of these days, I will get her a ticket to sit in the first row. It is the least I can do, given that she has shown me nothing but love.
Thank you, mom.
* TL note: it was really paragraphed this way