16 December 2011
Because You were There for Me: Sato Amina
In this Shukan Asahi interview, Sato Amina talks about how her mother at first didn't support her of joining AKB, and the two were always at odds with each other about this subject.
Their relationship had become distant, but no matter what a mother and a daughter's bond is a strong one. It may get cracked but can never be broken. This is her story about how she and her mother were able to mend that crack in their bond.
The weight of my mother's apology
Translated by mammothb
Mothers and daughters become more distant than strangers because of a small disagreement. That was how my mother and I were.
3 and half years ago, when I passed my audition for AKB, my mother objected to it violently, "What are you going to do about school!"
She didn't listen to me when I said I've already decided to join AKB. "Deciding such things by yourself, don't expect me to help you!?", said my mother. "Fine, let's not interfere with each other's business then!", I said.
My mother and I are pretty similar. We are both obstinate and pampered. That's why I thought that we'll make up very soon after the quarrel today like always. I'd never thought that it would continue for 2 years......
Right after joining AKB, we were immersed in trainings and performances, so I had to transfer to a high school which provides distance education. I paid the school fees with the money I earned through working part time. Therefore, there wasn't any chance for my mother to complain. My mother is also working and our free times don't seem to match. We used to go shopping and amusement parks together but now it seems like that never happened. Before I realized it, we haven't spoken for a few months already.
Thought it's fun to be in AKB, there are tough times as well, such as even though other same gen members and kouhais appear on TV, I wasn't, being slandered on the internet...... I'm very grateful to members whom I was able to consult regarding theses matters. But the person I really want to consult, the person who notices the problems I'm having and talks to me about it is......
I don't have the talent to stand out from the rest. That's why I worked harder than everyone else...... When I finally became a senbatsu member and got called to appear on TV, I really want to let my mother know that my hardwork has finally paid off. And I want my mother to recognize my efforts too. But what I was able to say to my mother was only, "I appeared on TV, isn't it great?", nothing but word of self-praise. My mother replied, "Recently, you've been returning home way too late. You are sure it's due to work right?" When I heard that, I snapped.
"I wasn't playing! I also have experienced tough times. Don't say that I'm playing when you know nothing at all!"
Even though my mother said that only because I wasn't able to put across what I wanted to say properly...... But to be wrongly accused that I return home late because I was playing outside, I can't forgive that no matter what. Because of this, I guess it's impossible for us to return back to the time when we got along well with each other. Even if I were to regret it now, it's too late, as this thought crossed my mind, my mother said, "Sorry...... For saying that you returned home late because you were playing......"
I doubted if I have heard my mother properly as her reply wasn't what I have expected. My mother apologized to me. Even when I wasn't being honest myself...... After this, the both of us cried loudly. The cold war between us was finally over.
When I was young, though I was a single-child, I have never once felt lonely. That's because my mother would play with me no matter how tired she is. Being unable to enter university even though she wanted to, my mother decided to work to work hard at her job so that I would be able to. Even so, I said, "Let's not interfere with each other's business"...... Sorry, for causing you to have such lonely thoughts during the 2 years. And thank you for apologizing.
Right now, my mother comes to the concerts and I'm able to consult her about everything. Happy things, sad things, things that doesn't belong to either category, I'm about to consult all these with my mother.
We may quarrel again in the future, but at that time, I'll be honest with myself and apologize. That's why my mother and I are the strongest mother and daughter!